Embracing life & saying goodbye

June 27, 2012

in Life as an expat,Living abroad,Living in Europe

termite mound

Kevin and Robert in front of a termite mound in the Northern Territory of Australia 2011.

crossroads

At the Crossroads Pub, New South Wales, March 2012.

adelaide river inn

Kevin and I at the Adelaide River Inn. February 2011.

Life has thrown us quite a few curves this spring. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, our living situation has been crazy – we had to move out of yet another apartment, all of our stuff is in storage and we are in a temporary apartment for a few days now. It’s disconcerting and I feel displaced. But yesterday, we got the news that Robert’s dad had died. And while all the other things will continue to be hard, they pale in comparison to the loss.

Kevin Corkery had been battling lung cancer, prostate cancer and emphysema for a few years. He died of a massive coronary and went quickly, with his sister, brother and other family members around him. Robert and I were here in Stockholm and felt very far away. Living so far away from our families is the very hardest parts of our international life and we are working hard to find a flight to Australia for the funeral that’s not too insanely expensive.

Of course, we miss him already. We spent a lot of time yesterday looking at photos of Kevin and reminiscing. It’s hard to fathom that I won’t hear  him say “G’day beautiful” with his thick, Australian drawl.

My father-in-law was a character in just about every way. He was opinionated, often difficult and perhaps a little too fond of the beer at the pub. From what I’ve heard, he was quite the cad in his younger days. But he was loyal to those he cared about, never failed to say “love you” at the end of a phone call to us and within seconds in a new place, could be involved in a conversation with a local. Although he lived most of his life in a small country town, he lived life fully. He was well read and curious about the rest of the world and I think he passed some of that on to Robert.

When Robert and I were married in 2002, he traveled to the US for our celebration there and charmed everyone with his accent and tales of Australia. He had a deep-seated love of the bush – one of his greatest joys was getting into the remote outback of Australia. Kevin had strong opinions on what could be called outback: dirt roads, no fences, no phone lines. In short, after we had driven for a few days and maybe passed one other truck, he would only then deem we were in the outback. His knowledge of the outback – the flora and fauna, the history, how to travel and survive in it – was immense. I loved hearing his tales of working in the outback as a surveyor where he camped for weeks at a time and navigated by the stars.

Robert and I went on our fourth outback trek with him in March. We knew then that it would probably be our last. I’m so happy  we got that time with him.

family photo

The Corkery family, somewhere around 1975. That's Robert in the blue sleeve T-shirt in front. Kevin is on the right and Robert's siblings Kylie and Jason are also in the photo.

{ 23 comments }

1 Lola June 27, 2012 at 12:32

So sorry for your loss Sandra & Robert. Keeping you in our prayers.

2 Sandra June 27, 2012 at 13:33

Thank you so much Lola. I appreciate that.

3 janerowena June 27, 2012 at 15:44

I loved your tales of travelling around the Bush with him. I’m glad you got the chance to see him so recently, but even so, it must have been a shock to hear that news despite knowing he wasn’t all that well. Good luck with the flights.

4 Britta June 27, 2012 at 16:57

I am so sorry!!!!
In such times it is really hard to be abroad.

He will live forever in your heard and in your memories.

5 Mary Jackson June 27, 2012 at 20:07

Sandra, so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my Dad in April and it still doesn’t seem real to me.

6 Deborah June 27, 2012 at 20:40

So very very sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to be so far away from family at times like this. I will keep you both in my heart. He sounds like a wonderful man.

7 Antropologa June 28, 2012 at 21:02

My condolences!

8 xtra June 29, 2012 at 04:39

So sorry, Sandy and Robert. Will keep you and your family in my prayers. Love to you, x&j

9 Sandra June 29, 2012 at 08:37

Thanks Deborah. You are so right about feeling far away.

10 Sandra June 29, 2012 at 08:39

That’s good of you to remember the outback stories Jane. It was good to be with him. Thank you.

11 Sandra June 29, 2012 at 08:39

Thank you Britta for your kind words.

12 Sandra June 29, 2012 at 08:40

So sorry to hear that Mary. Thanks for your understanding. While Robert has now lost both of his parents, I am lucky to still have both of mine.

13 Sandra June 29, 2012 at 08:40

Thank you antropologa.

14 Sandra June 29, 2012 at 08:41

Thanks xtra. I know you know how hard it is. Hope to see you soon.

15 Lynn June 29, 2012 at 17:26

So sad, Sandra and Robert. It is hard to live abroad with family so far away. But it is wonderful to have so many friends here as well.

16 Mary June 29, 2012 at 20:31

Sandy,
I am so sorry to hear about Kevin’s passing. He was quite a man and I feel very fortunate to have had an opportunity to get to know him and spend some time with him on our Top End adventure. I cherish those memories. My heart goes out to you and Robert and the rest of his family.

17 christian July 2, 2012 at 01:14

Sandra, I was very sad to log on (after quite a while!) to catch up on your blog and read such news. When my mother was dying a couple of years ago, I was over in Berlin, and I know how that distance makes an already difficult experience even worse. I do hope that you are able to make it to Australia to say goodbye.

C.

18 Ted July 2, 2012 at 17:48

I had the privelege to meet Kevin years ago in Cincy when you were still on Pape. Great guy. My kinda guy. Very sorry for his passing. Hope you and Robt can get to Australia ASAP.

19 Amy Ackerman July 2, 2012 at 20:12

So, so sorry for your loss. Sending you and Robert lots of hugs. Thanks for sharing such wonderful memories.
Amy A

20 Kristy DiSalle July 3, 2012 at 05:11

You and Robert are in our thoughts and prayers. We are so sorry for your loss. Sandy, your wonderful words and both of your memories will keep Kevin a special part of your lives forever. Safe travels. Love, Chad, Kristy, Dominic, Andrew, and Nicholas

21 Jennifer July 3, 2012 at 22:18

So sorry to hear of your loss. We’ll keep you and Robert and your family in our prayers.

22 Lou Lou July 4, 2012 at 15:26

So sorry to hear of your loss. A beautifully written post that I am sure he would have loved. He sounded like a lovely man. My thoughts are with you, your husband and family.

23 Sandra July 7, 2012 at 02:00

Thanks to everyone for all the good wishes. Robert and I both appreciate them.

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